Ok I’m going to take a moment to be juvenile. Some people still look at me like I’m crazy when I say Britney Spears is a fattie. It may be because *I’m* not the leanest dude on the block. Or even in the building. Or maybe even on the elevator. Well, for one, I am not the one on the Ryan Seacrest show with my shirt cranked up, grinding my exposed lard-coated gut and groin into some little Mexican kid while ear candy plays in the background. If I were, we’d all have something else disturbing to talk about tonight. For two, I am not compensated for being hot, which is arguably >75% of Britney Spears’ official Pop Icon Job Description.
None of you are to give me this “but she looked so great on that Rolling Stone cover” or whatever piece of artwork some brilliant Photoshop artist created. Here are some recent photos from the last few weeks of the Louisiana Piglet herself, whose career I declare is officially in full blowout: