My friend Christine tipped me off about Armor of God PJs, which reminded me of a couple things needin’ discussion.
I was raised a Pentecostal Christian, and sorta bought into it until I was about 12. Their worldview relies on an unquestioning acceptance of tenets that would make most of us scratch our heads, and they’ve got themselves a lot of eerie rituals (some sects weirder than others.) Luckily, my mother was one of the saner ones in the clan, and encouraged me to be my own person, ultimately supporting my decision to follow my own spiritual path.
But most fundamentalist parents aren’t like that. An important part of the conspiracy of fundamentalism is the creepy business of brainwashing children when they’re too young to question it, in the hopes that they grow up to be good brainwashers themselves. And so it goes.
I am vaguely reminded of these weird-beyond-words “purity ball” rituals where virginal Christian girls dress up for daddy and take a virginity pledge. And if that doesn’t weird you out enough, know that it’s daddy who “takes them out for their first big dance” and actually vouches for their virginity (and to protect it) in his own pledge. Read some of the precious quotes on the site, and then imagine how fun it’d be to down a few martinis and show up in the role of “guest speaker.” But I digress…
So, kids, order up your Armor of God PJ’s – they’ll keep you “safe and secure during the night.” And get that little “faith” pillow, too – because if any of daddy’s evening lessons come from the Pentateuch, you’ll surely need it to cry into later.