Britney Spears was [rightly] excoriated for saying “I think we should just support our President in everything he does.” I expect to hear at least as much criticism of this stupidity – which brings Oval Office hero-worshiping to a new and nauseous level.

I totally agree with the “be the change” concept – nothing new (although still very rare).

But Ashton Kutcher (not the world’s brightest sociopolitical bulb) and Demi Moore pledge to be “servants” to President Obama. What the fuck are they talking about? Kutcher is the same moron who recently referred to President Bush as our “commander”.  Is he channeling jungsturm or something?

Who are these people?

And how many of them do you think could actually sit down and engage in a substantive, nuanced conversation about the important issues they’re pledging about?  Two, three, maybe?

This new Harpo Productions video feels right out of a 1930s propaganda machine. I truly sympathize with President Obama – a human facing inhuman expectations. He will have a very hard time living up to the high-style, breathless absurdity of fluff like this.

Hey idiots: pledge loyalty to ideals, or goals, or foundational principles that stir your heart and soul. Respect others, hope for the best for them, empower them, agree and disagree with them, but don’t worship them.  Pledging to be a “servant” to a single person is called a cult.

Hollywood needs political cluefulness, not a new branch of Scientology.

Here’s my pledge: I pledge to fight against blind, unquestioning loyalty of any kind. It’s what got us into the mess we’re in – and it’s certainly not going to get us out.

“Since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving, Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore – thank God – and evidently Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don’t seem to have much of an issue.”

Hey, man, don’t blame me for Linsday – I tried.

“We don’t laugh at sad people.  Britney Spears is being tortured to death and we don’t want to be on that side.”

[Source: Olbermann]

Part 1 and Part 2 of the 911 tapes. How totally frustrating. [Source: TMZ]

…Kate Bosworth. Gulp… Kate Bosworth? Now kids, I loove Kate Bosworth.

But if I really looked like Kate Bosworth, even a little tiny bit, there’d be precious little reason to leave the house.

I mean, I’d just stay home all day and play dress-up.

Looking longingly and seductively into the mirror every two seconds, I’d prance to and fro, singing little love songs, flirting with myself gaily and, ever-so-slowly, building up to making wild, rough steamy love to myself every hour or so, as conditions allowed. And, dear friends, things would get broken.

Oh yes – yes, they would.

“That outfit was like two band aids made out of tinsel for a stripper with bite marks. This woman had three years to come up with a new image, and she comes out with the same ‘streetwalker’ thing, just chunkier? Take more time off, Britney.”