Cleese Election Weekend Analysis

1 11 2008

Funny Cleese interview on Olbermann’s show tonight:



Sarah Silverman Says: Schlep To Florida

9 10 2008


The Great Schlep



Gabriel Schwartz And Instant Karma

2 10 2008

I am generally not one to delight in the misfortunes of others.  But schadenfreude has never been more at home in my heart than in the story of Denver’s own Gabriel Schwartz.  The obnoxious, self-impressed, clueless lawyer did an interview on the floor of the Republican National Convention… I don’t want to just  dislike him for his worldview (although I do) – which mostly revolves around bombing and plundering Iran.  I also dislike him because he’s such an assface.  Think I’m being harsh?  Watch the interview and tell me you don’t want to beat him with a stick:

I’m not the only one who has issues with this guy.  The day after he gave that interview, he met a woman in the bar of his Minneapolis hotel and invited her to his room.  Once they got upstairs, the woman asked him to get undressed while she prepared him a drink.  That drink made Gabriel a very sleepy boy.  (Is there a bomb joke here?)

When Gabriel “Iran, baby” Schwartz woke up, the woman was gone, as was more than $120,000 in money, jewelry and other Schwartzy bling.  After that righteous plundering, Gabriel said;

as a single man, I was flattered by the attention of a beautiful woman who introduced herself to me. I used poor judgment.”

Poor judgment?  By the same Gabriel Schwartz I see in that interview?  No!

I can only assume she saw the interview, or had an equally maddening conversation with him in the bar that night.  Here’s what I wanna know: did she “plant a flag”?



LAPD Chief Bratton on the Paparazzi Issue

31 07 2008

Chief Bratton, who feels the Paparazzi Task Force is a waste of time (I agree with him), just said on MSNBC:

“Since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving, Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore – thank God – and evidently Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don’t seem to have much of an issue.”

Hey, man, don’t blame me for Linsday – I tried.



More From The Craigslist Archives

17 07 2008

To the drunk hottie who fell off my motorcycle



Belated RIP to George Carlin

25 06 2008

Carlin was inspirational to me, in some ways, as a teen.  He had a biting wit and was more a social commentator than comedian.  I saw him live a couple of times – once at the University of Maine where he autographed a dollar bill for me.  The fact that it took me several months to spend that money was as much about my respect for him as my flat-broke-ness.

One of my favorite Carlin rants is here – Carlin on Politicians – and I’ll miss that penetrating side of him.  He could make us laugh so hard that our guts hurt, and not always because what he said was funny, exactly – but because it was so sadly true.  In his later years, I was sad to see him move more toward aimless anger and jokes about death and poop, but I suppose that’s how things go.

He died at Saint John’s in Santa Monica – just a mile or two from my place -  at the age of 71.



Stewart Butterfield’s Awesome Resignation Letter

18 06 2008

Flickr founder says good-bye to the higher-ups at Yahoo!, while channeling Herman Zweibel.



How Not to Cheat at Photoshop

17 06 2008

Alright dude, if you want me to buy your book “How To Cheat At Photoshop”, you’re going to need to do a little better than this.



Office Fussypants and Busybees

17 06 2008

Stay off my plant!  Do not lean on my pod! We’ve all shared an office with people like this.. but wow.. and: potlucks and genius…



Harriet Christian Is No Second-Class Citizen

31 05 2008

[After being ejected from the DNC Rules Committee Meeting today]



Five Diseases You Probably Have

30 05 2008

Or at least you’re going to think you have them now.



Rainbow Head, SNL, Christopher Walken

2 04 2008

You’d think by now the internet had everything.  You’d, of course, be wrong.  Tonight, I saw a teaser for SNL with Christopher Walken and (why is she sexy?) Kristen Wiig.

Read the rest of this entry »



Google Still Knows How to Have Fun

1 04 2008

Today they announced two things I really need: the Google Wake-Up Kit and Google Custom Time.

“Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality (see Grandfather Paradox).”



Old Hollywood Mentality

17 03 2008

Seth Godin asks, how many record label executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?



Be Ready

17 03 2008

Some great emergency tips, with visuals.



Spamalot Lyrics Change

13 02 2008

The guys behind Spamalot just changed a show song reference from Britney Spears to Posh Spice.  On why, Eric Idle said:

“We don’t laugh at sad people.  Britney Spears is being tortured to death and we don’t want to be on that side.”

[Source: Olbermann]



Leaders Roast Ahmadinejad

11 02 2008

Good stuff.



Random Thoughts of the Day

10 02 2008

Hope all my Maine Democrat friends are caucusing today (as painful as it is, please do.  It’s really important.)

Shop pulls “Lolita” bed for young girls; the morons had never heard of Lolita.  Reminds me a little of that “My First Stripper Pole” Tesco was hawking a while back, encouraging pre-teens to “unleash the sex kitten inside.”

There’s probably an update to this story by now, but I’ve been meaning to mention it.   Interesting state/federal issues therein, even setting aside the sensationalism of a city formally declaring Bush and Cheney wanted criminals.  This’ll get more interesting, especially after election day… I’m intending on writing more about that soon.



My Kinda Girl; My Kinda Toilet

6 02 2008

Great commercial from Sweden…

[h/t David]



The Blob

26 01 2008

I never liked Lewiston very much, and now I know why.  Wonder if Steven King knows about this?



Fearless Mice, Fearless Leaders?

17 12 2007

Japanese researchers say they’ve engineered “fearless mice.”  I’d like to see this technique applied to the Democrats ASAP.



Icelandic Teen Calls President Bush

9 12 2007

Ends up in trouble, and no chat.



Another Bubble?

8 12 2007

Yes, we know another tech bubble is inflating. But some folks have a sense of humor about it. I sorta liked this video:

Thanks, Kyla.



A Brilliant Craigslist Thread: Buy Or Lease?

5 12 2007

Reader Rick sent me this thread from NYC Craigslist, and I had to share.

new york craigslist > manhattan > rants & raves
woman seeking $500k+ earning man
Read the rest of this entry »



Jobs Gets Free iPod

18 11 2007

Apple’s compensation committee really upped the ante this year.  By some 7300%, in fact.  Not only did CEO Steve Jobs gets his customary $1 salary, but this year he took home a free iPodDay-um, Mr. Fancy Pants!!

Despite all this, he has sold none of his Apple stock.  The committee is finally considering “additional compensation arrangements,” presumably because he told them he’s sick of busting his balls for less than minimum wage.