Or at least you’re going to think you have them now.

You’d think by now the internet had everything.  You’d, of course, be wrong.  Tonight, I saw a teaser for SNL with Christopher Walken and (why is she sexy?) Kristen Wiig.

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Today they announced two things I really need: the Google Wake-Up Kit and Google Custom Time.

“Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality (see Grandfather Paradox).”

Seth Godin asks, how many record label executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Some great emergency tips, with visuals.

The guys behind Spamalot just changed a show song reference from Britney Spears to Posh Spice.  On why, Eric Idle said:

“We don’t laugh at sad people.  Britney Spears is being tortured to death and we don’t want to be on that side.”

[Source: Olbermann]

Good stuff.

Hope all my Maine Democrat friends are caucusing today (as painful as it is, please do.  It’s really important.)

Shop pulls “Lolita” bed for young girls; the morons had never heard of Lolita.  Reminds me a little of that “My First Stripper Pole” Tesco was hawking a while back, encouraging pre-teens to “unleash the sex kitten inside.”

There’s probably an update to this story by now, but I’ve been meaning to mention it.   Interesting state/federal issues therein, even setting aside the sensationalism of a city formally declaring Bush and Cheney wanted criminals.  This’ll get more interesting, especially after election day… I’m intending on writing more about that soon.

Great commercial from Sweden…

[h/t David]

I never liked Lewiston very much, and now I know why.  Wonder if Steven King knows about this?