I decided to head south today for North Carolina. I took the long windy off-the-beaten-path state roads, as I really like exploring and I am not in any real hurry. It was a beautiful drive – down through the valleys and farmland of rural Virginia, with the Blue Ridge Mountains off in the distance. There was a slight complication, however – I am a serious caffeine addict, and had left the hotel without grabbing a coffee. Along the route, there had been no sign of a coffee shop or even a market that looked promising.

Finally, in Curdsville, Virginia, I saw a small market and gas station. I rolled in and started filling my tank with gas as my stereo cranked out Andy Moor’s Halcyon.

I walked past the giant, hand-painted, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS” sign, entered the store and noticed a friendly-looking older lady with thick glasses behind the counter, a farm-worn man sitting at the counter eating something, and lots of farm goods for sale. I made my way over to the lady and said,

“Large, pumpkin spice, half-decaf, iced soy latte, please.”

Silence. The customer stopped eating and just looked at me, bewildered. Not in a hostile way, but in that wow, i’ve never seen one of these sort of way.

“What? No soy?”

No, I didn’t really say that. But I had made my way past the coffee station on the way to the lady and noted that there was none. She asked if she could help me and I said, “just looking for some coffee.” She said, “well, we don’t serve coffee all day, but I could make you up some.” Knowing in my heart that I wouldn’t like the coffee anyway, I told her that was alright, I wouldn’t make her do that, I’ll just keep heading south and see what I find. She told me the next place, a few miles up, she didn’t think served coffee all day either. I thanked her and hit the road.

Eventually I arrived in Farmville, and on the main street saw a place that said “Coffee Shop and Wi-Fi HotSpot”. Thinking it was some kind of mirage, I needed to get closer. I paid a dime to park on Main Street for an hour and went inside.

I got a great blueberry muffin and even an iced soy latte. Wow. Then I noticed that this was not a private establishment – this shop was “wholly owned by the New Life Assembly of God” and “all proceeds benefit our mission.” So, it wasn’t a mirage, exactly… but close.

I logged onto their wi-fi, quickly penned this piece, and then out of the sickness of my heart tried to see if I could surf porn and satanist sites on their wi-fi, or if such content would be blocked so it would not be on their network. Nope, no blocks. Fun. Ooooh … paganism! Oooooh … moms teaching teens!! Yeah, I’m weird, but love being subversive when I can.

Trying to make Raleigh tonight.

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