Fifty Ways to Make Your Date or Significant Other Think You Need Hormone Replacement Therapy
7 12 2006I stumbled across this little gem, entitled “Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex” in my wandering on Digg.
Now, I am pretty sure Rod Philips is just a fake guy trying to sell his product, but he clearly put a lot of effort into this, and I’d guess is earnest. Let’s review a couple, shall we?
I think my favorite is mistake number 19, “Entering her without asking her first.” He says, “you don’t always need to ask ‘May I enter you?’ though it can be a romantic and sexy thing to do…”
Pardon me, did I just stumble into a game of Mother May I? Look, dude, if you are so tone-deaf that you feel like you need to, or should, ask a woman if you “may enter,” then you probably deserve an Emmy for getting her undressed in the first place. And yeah, how romantic – “may I enter?” It gives me goose bumps – I can’t think of a hotter thing to say.
Also, number 33, “apologizing for the size of your penis.”
Mmm, yeah, this is a no-no. In fact, if you’ve ever felt the need to do this, may I suggest you just stay home and masturbate? I also want to know where Rod got his information that “98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis.” Ohhh shit, Rod – you had me confused – I thought you meant apologizing because it was too big!
Sorry, but every single woman with whom I’ve ever discussed the subject agrees that size matters. I think this is like things people say to fat people to make them feel better – you know, like “beauty comes in all shapes and sizes?” Sure it does – it’s just usually thin.
Likewise with the penis-size thing: if I hear a guy saying “it ain’t the size of the waves, it’s the motion of the ocean,” or a girl saying something similar in front of her boyfriend, it’s excruciatingly obvious what’s going on there. Fact: women are not neutral on this issue – they would far rather have a well-endowed lover. Why is it that so often in life, our attempts to be nice are fueled by dishonesty?
Overall, the piece is chock-full of lessons on how to be a more sensitive, gentle, effeminate lover. The whole thing had me wondering if I’d wandered into a Calgon commercial. Sorry, Rod, truth be told: most women like to get the daylights banged out of them. Oh shit, did I say that or did I think that?
“98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis.”
Complete bullshit. Yes, I have been an honorary chick enough times with hot women that there has been a willing admittance that size does matter.
Sorry guys.
Mostly, women won’t admit it if they know you have a small penis. Women share that kind of info the way we share if you put out and if you give good head.
“98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis.”
Complete bullshit. Yes, I have been an honorary chick enough times with hot women that there has been a willing admittance that size does matter.
Sorry guys.
Mostly, women won’t admit it if they know you have a small penis. Women share that kind of info the way we share if you put out and if you give good head.
thanks Josh – wow, I like hers a lot better.
My lover in Helsinki was amazing but she was a one-trick pony. It was all, “take me up against the wall! Up against the wall!” Those crazy Finns.
Gotta check out the chick response:
tweekerchick
thanks Josh – wow, I like hers a lot better.
1. size matters a LOT
2. almost every girl i know likes it rough
3. that list was written by a gay man
sorry, but true.
love ya
My lover in Helsinki was amazing but she was a one-trick pony. It was all, “take me up against the wall! Up against the wall!” Those crazy Finns.
Lets not confuse “well endowed” with overly endowed.
We consider “too big” to be the ultimate compliment, whether or not it really is a good thing. Oh, and it should work, too. Right?
We consider “too big” to be the ultimate compliment, whether or not it really is a good thing. Oh, and it should work, too. Right?