I am generally not one to delight in the misfortunes of others. But schadenfreude has never been more at home in my heart than in the story of Denver’s own Gabriel Schwartz. The obnoxious, self-impressed, clueless lawyer did an interview on the floor of the Republican National Convention… I don’t want to just dislike him for his worldview (although I do) – which mostly revolves around bombing and plundering Iran. I also dislike him because he’s such an assface. Think I’m being harsh? Watch the interview and tell me you don’t want to beat him with a stick:
I’m not the only one who has issues with this guy. The day after he gave that interview, he met a woman in the bar of his Minneapolis hotel and invited her to his room. Once they got upstairs, the woman asked him to get undressed while she prepared him a drink. That drink made Gabriel a very sleepy boy. (Is there a bomb joke here?)
When Gabriel “Iran, baby” Schwartz woke up, the woman was gone, as was more than $120,000 in money, jewelry and other Schwartzy bling. After that righteous plundering, Gabriel said;
“as a single man, I was flattered by the attention of a beautiful woman who introduced herself to me. I used poor judgment.”
Poor judgment? By the same Gabriel Schwartz I see in that interview? No!
I can only assume she saw the interview, or had an equally maddening conversation with him in the bar that night. Here’s what I wanna know: did she “plant a flag”?