I found this article via an anorexic oriented web blog who was calling for your head. As fondly as I like the creator of this web blog, she’s wrong and took you out of context. In a video against you she mentioned that anorexia and obesity are completely different issues. They happen to be opposite sides of the spectrum; imagine that. So, why is she getting huffy with you when she herself just excluded her issue and passion from your own?

Fighting against obesity and anorexia are both noble fights that can, in fact, coexist peacefully.

I found this article via an anorexic oriented web blog who was calling for your head. As fondly as I like the creator of this web blog, she’s wrong and took you out of context. In a video against you she mentioned that anorexia and obesity are completely different issues. They happen to be opposite sides of the spectrum; imagine that. So, why is she getting huffy with you when she herself just excluded her issue and passion from your own?

Fighting against obesity and anorexia are both noble fights that can, in fact, coexist peacefully.

We are not talking here about health so much as appeal. Forcefeeding yourself like a champ at the dinner table is not attractive on men or women.

It is appealing for men to be masculine and it is appealing for women to me feminine.

N’est-ce pas?

We are not talking here about health so much as appeal. Forcefeeding yourself like a champ at the dinner table is not attractive on men or women.

It is appealing for men to be masculine and it is appealing for women to me feminine.

N’est-ce pas?

I also didn’t like the word ‘delicately’. Why do we have to refuse food delicately? That’s not the same as having good manners. I mean, my daddy always used good manners when he turned down food, but I don’t think he ever did so delicately. That word just rubs me the wrong way. It’s as if refusing junk food isn’t enough. As women, we should do so *delicately*.

Does refusing junk food delicately make you healthier than just plain refusing it? I don’t think so.

I also didn’t like the word ‘delicately’. Why do we have to refuse food delicately? That’s not the same as having good manners. I mean, my daddy always used good manners when he turned down food, but I don’t think he ever did so delicately. That word just rubs me the wrong way. It’s as if refusing junk food isn’t enough. As women, we should do so *delicately*.

Does refusing junk food delicately make you healthier than just plain refusing it? I don’t think so.

You’re right.

While I stand by everything I said, if I had known the pickup it was going to get, I might have tried to be a bit gentler. Then again, had I been gentler, I don’t think it would have received the attention it did. And I’m glad to have catalyzed all that conversation.

Thank you, though - your points are well taken.

You’re right.

While I stand by everything I said, if I had known the pickup it was going to get, I might have tried to be a bit gentler. Then again, had I been gentler, I don’t think it would have received the attention it did. And I’m glad to have catalyzed all that conversation.

Thank you, though - your points are well taken.

My apologies if you do want to be done with this issue, but reading the comments here and elsewhere it does seem like a matter of crossed wires. I don’t think a lot of the comments you’ve got have been addressing your general argument about anorexia and Western society and overcomsumption - they’re addressing something else, that’s pinged them specifically from this part of your article:

So, please, ladies - the girl who has the body the rest of you wish you had is not anorexic. The girl who delicately refuses the eighteen-ounce wedge of deep-fried cheesecake the rest of you dive into after dinner is not anorexic. The girl who is obsessed with fitting back into those size 1 jeans is not anorexic. She’s just thinner than you, knows how to say no to herself, and it makes you jealous.

I think that sounds to a lot of women like a very familiar voice - a voice that many of us have been carrying around for most of our lives; in my case, my father’s voice. The girl who has the body you/I/we wish you had is better than you. She is worth more. You? Are worth less. Worthless, even. I’m aware that isn’t what you said, and probably wasn’t what you intended to say - but that’s what a lot of women seem to have heard. Certainly, when I read it, that’s what I hear. I’ve heard that a lot at various times in my life and it’s kind of a perpetual background thing now. Leaving aside the fact that for the sake of health losing weight is an excellent idea, and the fact that yeah, it is connected to sexual attractiveness, which isn’t a myth but a fact you just have to live with - this idea that your worth as a human being and your attractiveness as a woman are inextricably linked is something a lot of us have been trying to get over for a very long time. That’s what a lot of the “feminazi” blogs I’ve been reading seem to be addressing. I agree that they’ve missed your point, but I think you’re missing theirs. I don’t think that ‘talking past each other’s ears’ effect is a fault of the medium in this case - it’s just a failure of empathy. Which happens.

My apologies if you do want to be done with this issue, but reading the comments here and elsewhere it does seem like a matter of crossed wires. I don’t think a lot of the comments you’ve got have been addressing your general argument about anorexia and Western society and overcomsumption - they’re addressing something else, that’s pinged them specifically from this part of your article:

So, please, ladies - the girl who has the body the rest of you wish you had is not anorexic. The girl who delicately refuses the eighteen-ounce wedge of deep-fried cheesecake the rest of you dive into after dinner is not anorexic. The girl who is obsessed with fitting back into those size 1 jeans is not anorexic. She’s just thinner than you, knows how to say no to herself, and it makes you jealous.

I think that sounds to a lot of women like a very familiar voice - a voice that many of us have been carrying around for most of our lives; in my case, my father’s voice. The girl who has the body you/I/we wish you had is better than you. She is worth more. You? Are worth less. Worthless, even. I’m aware that isn’t what you said, and probably wasn’t what you intended to say - but that’s what a lot of women seem to have heard. Certainly, when I read it, that’s what I hear. I’ve heard that a lot at various times in my life and it’s kind of a perpetual background thing now. Leaving aside the fact that for the sake of health losing weight is an excellent idea, and the fact that yeah, it is connected to sexual attractiveness, which isn’t a myth but a fact you just have to live with - this idea that your worth as a human being and your attractiveness as a woman are inextricably linked is something a lot of us have been trying to get over for a very long time. That’s what a lot of the “feminazi” blogs I’ve been reading seem to be addressing. I agree that they’ve missed your point, but I think you’re missing theirs. I don’t think that ‘talking past each other’s ears’ effect is a fault of the medium in this case - it’s just a failure of empathy. Which happens.