Vote or be Ugly and Uncool

vote for better tape
image by tom.arthur via Flickr

Everyone – please, for the love of all that is holy, get out and vote tomorrow.  If you can vote early (at this point I guess that’s just today), do. Those of you who can’t vote early, please be sure you know where your polling place is, and that you bring anything you may need to bring (some states require ID for first-time voters.)

RockTheVote has a great resource center that helps you figure out where to go and what you need to bring.  Use it.  Now.  And DO IT.

If you receive a phone call or flyer that tells you to vote elsewhere or elsewhen, ignore it.  Go to your designated polling site on Tuesday, November 4, and vote.  If you show up and there’s an issue and they try to prevent you from voting – especially if you know you are registered – demand to vote.  Don’t sheepishly walk out.  Cast a “provisional ballot” if you must, but demand to vote.

Sociologists say it needs to be as uncool to not vote as it is to – I dunno – say, go to the bathroom in public. So, it’s social pressure that’s needed?  Here you go: if you don’t vote – I’m going to think you’re a fat, smelly, terrible, uncool asshole.  And I’m also going to post pictures of you on Facebook – drunk and passed out with writing on your face. And I’m even going to properly tag them!

Seriously – think through the ironies here – we live in a nation where an individual has the most power to change the direction of their country, yet we’re one of the countries where that power is exercised the least.  Young voters are the least likely to show up, yet they have the most at stake.  It’s not right.  So get out there and flex your electoral muscle.  It’ll (hopefully) only take a few minutes.  And if it takes longer, I’m sorry – but your country needs you.

So VOTE on Tuesday, November 4.  You’ll be cool and sexy if you do.  I’ll buy you chocolate.  You can play with my iPhone.  I’ll introduce you to hot chicks.  Whatever it takes.  VOTE.

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